Independence

It's the Fourth - Happy Independence Day y'all! I've been trying to decide what to do today - we live in such a small town, I don't think there are any "big" celebrations going on... no where to just pop down to for a firework display. My folks used to do it up big but that's sorta fallen by the wayside. Son and gf are going to a cook out at her family's house so that just leaves the girl and me... I feel like sitting around the house all day and doing nothing is sort of a cop out - so I'm trying to formulate a plan (yes I need a plan, damn it) to get daughter and me out of the house and into life....

The big city up the road has a big family activity going on - not sure we want to do the whole rides and games thing - but they do have a big fireworks display in the evening so I'm thinking that might fun... so we'll see. There is a movie she wants to see so perhaps we will go up and see the movie first. We just need to get out of the house and do something - something... This is where being single, for me, is hard. Holidays are family days, and well, I struggle to make daughter and me the family... it's easier just not to do and that's not all that fair - missing out on life just because the image of what you think something should be might not be the reality of what you have. The reality is that daughter and I are the family - the two of us... and she's missing out and I'm missing out if we don't take advantage of all there is to experience.

There is still a part of me that is holding out I think. I've got to just let that go - but it's almost like sometimes, for all the progress I've made - for all the little acts of independence I've exercised, I'm still leaving some activities in that old "it's a tradition family event" box and that's all bunk... family is what it is - and sometimes, for me, family is simply daughter and me - the two of us... and so she and I have to enjoy life - our way - and to hell with any notion I might have that says otherwise.

So, once again, Belle needs a shower, maybe a little makeup and some comfortable shorts and sensible shoes and we'll be off - Happy Holiday!