It's Only Tuesday... sigh...

I'm so exhausted. I need vacation and I need it now, or at least soon, but the truth is I have a little under four more weeks before I can go. In between then and now I have three court hearings, one of which is weighing very heavily on me. I keep reminding myself it's all slow, small steps... part of me though wants to just run through it all and get to the other side. It doesn't work that way - I know that, doesn't mean I don't sometimes wish.... Sleep isn't satisfying these days either. What's up with that? Sleep has always been something I could count on for respite - not lately. I'm missing something, not seeing it, and I wish I knew what it was. Can someone please tell me? It's like being in a classroom full of students who don't know the answer to the question the teacher just asked and so everyone sits around silently waiting on the teacher to just answer it already and move on with the lesson. I'm feeling like I'm waiting on God to get tired of me missing it and therefore just tell me so we can move on to the next part... but I'm really just stuck, and perhaps the truth is there is no next part. Oh well.

I've not posted any music in a while but I've got to say this, I think, is my new favorite - This Aint' Goodbye. It's sad, I know. What's up with that? It's all about timing, eh? Timing - she's a 500lb pound bearded lady circus freak I think... leaves you sorta sad and hollow, wishing you could do something to change it but knowing you really can't... walking away with insight you really wish you now didn't have. Ok, fine, I'm grasping at straws. I think I'm ovulating.

And, to end this little snippet of a blog post I'll post an old picture mom was given by a friend of hers. It's mom and me - I was around 19 I think. I showed it to the kids and they were more shocked at the way my mom looked then than me - they said I still sorta look the same (which I know is a lie). Oh, and I'm not really sure why I'm wearing that beret thing on top of my head... I think it was Christmas and we were visiting family friends so that might explain it on two levels: a gift and the weather. That's plausible, right?