Sleeping Alone

I hate it. I should be used to it, but I hate it. I guess though, the truth is I don't really sleep alone - the dog sleeps with me, at least between the months of October and April. I can always tell when the weather has changed for good. In April when it gets warm he takes to his place under the bed and when it gets cold he sleeps on the bed with me. The bed is high off the ground and he has to really jump to make it up. It was easier for him in his younger days but now that he's aged some he struggles with it at times. He whines sometimes, waiting for my invitation and finally he'll go out into the hall and take a running jump to make it. Sometimes he falls a tad bit short and has to haul his furry butt the remaining way up - then of course there is the circling thing he does to get comfortable until he finally collapses with a low, long grunt. Tonight I'm especially blessed because he has gas. Lucky me.

But yeah, sleeping alone - I hate it but wonder if I could possibly sleep with another man in the bed. I say man because it's a lot different than sleeping with another woman - Rebecca slept with me on Christmas Eve for some reason and Holly slept in the bed with me the night before - long story but basically Joshua got drunk while with his friends and we left him sitting on the bathroom floor with towels and a blanket over his boxer short clad body. Holly was concerned about him and I knew she'd worry most of the night so I offered and she accepted - we have, on occasion, had to share a bed before and it's really not as weird as it may sound.

But yeah, I keep getting off subject - I wonder why? So as it goes the last time I slept in a bed with a man was October 2007. That's a very long time to not experience such a thing - and I'm not just talking about sex. Sex is a whole other issue.... I don't really sleep all over the bed - I tend to stay pretty much in one place but the idea of actually being in bed with a man - sleeping - seems so foreign to me anymore... but I miss it just the same and sometimes, like tonight, it makes me sad knowing I may always sleep alone. I have a routine now - the dog, the computer, a book - things that all sit on my bed with me... there really is no room for anyone else. Perhaps it's a good thing then, eh?

And so, the time has come for me to shut off this computer and get some sleep - I go back to work tomorrow after being off for a week. I have stuff to do the next three days there so it should be busy and the day should go by quickly - no more time to think of such frivolity as sleeping alone.