The Internet is an amazing thing - it really is... the idea that you can, with a few clicks of a keyboard, find the answer to just about anything... the idea that you reconnect with old friends or make new ones... the idea that we can have instant access to just about anything happening on earth at any given moment... it's mind blowing. I guess we have Al Gore to thank for it (hehe) so I say a hardy, heartfelt thanks to Al, or really to the person, or persons, responsible.... Some folks don't like it though. We have a few volunteers where I work who don't have a computer and therefore no email, so we can't contact them that way and they can't write their reports using Word... it's a choice they've made and it's cool... not an issue. They pop into the office and I help them, I contact them either by phone or I snail mail them the information they need. I can do old fashioned... not a problem.
There is a great movie - Hope Floats... I've seen it several times and I sorta have to be in the mood to watch it because it hits close to home - the loss of a marriage, coming to terms, starting over, introspection... sometimes it's difficult to watch - but the message is a good one... the idea that hope floats - and sometimes we just have to give it a chance to rise to the top... the main character finds out about her husbands infidelity and subsequent leaving on national television in Jerry Springer fashion... and so, humiliated and lost beyond belief, she moves back to her hometown, to her mother's house, and she slowly picks up the pieces. She gets a job working at a photo mat type business and one night she's in a bar - dejected and lost, looking for a moment of escape - and a woman she knows from years before, from high school, is there and talking loudly about the fact this woman had been humiliated on national television - laughing and just really being cruel - the main character says yes... it was pretty pitiful and then she brings up the fact this other woman had some questionable pictures developed at the photo mat - pictures of her newly enhanced breasts - and this woman is horrified, how dare that become common knowledge... and Birdie (the main character) says, "I got two words for you people!! Pola roid. Polaroids!!!"
It kills me, the folks who put stuff on Internet and then get pissed or offended that someone had the audacity to either find it or get directed to it and then, heavens, actually look at it... I have my little blog, my little corner of the world - and I write here... write what I want, what I feel, what I think... and I am conscience of the fact that anyone, and I mean ANYONE can read it - my mom, my kids, my ex, my friends, my not so friends, my therapist, my minister, my employer... it's here - out in cyber space and it really doesn't matter how it gets found - I've placed it here... I've opened myself up - and I can't really get pissy if someone reads it... that's sorta the whole fucking point. And it's fun... to see who visits - who might read... who co
mes back... and because I am aware of the fact it's an open forum I could do several things to protect my privacy if I should feel inclined to do so:1. I can always restrict who has access to it using the tools available to me
2. I could write in Word or some other word processing program and password protect it on my computer should I feel the need, and never publish it
3. I can buy a journal and hand write in it
And this applies to things other than blogs - myspace, facebook, flickr, online profiles... it's sorta like when I dare to wear a low cut shirt - one that shows my cleavage - I do so knowing full well that people might/will look... in a sense I'm inviting the attention - and we could argue til we're blue in the face the motivation behind wearing the shirt in the first place, but that's not my point... my point is this: If I KNOW "the girls" are getting looked at and I continue to wear a low cut shirt it's ridiculous of me to walk up to someone and slap his face because he dares to look... for God's sake if I'm offended then I need to cover the fuck up. I'm not helpless, I'm not a victim... I have resources at my disposal.
When my ex left and I found out about the affair I sat on divorce papers for months... I was worried about his state of mind, worried about his mental and physical health... he had moved to Florida for work and he would call and talk about how alone he was, how all he thought about was suicide, how he was so unhappy - and then in January of the next year I googled him... no reason really, an idea that popped into my head one afternoon... and that's when I found the most obscure little thing - an interview of sorts, with comments by him as well as his girl friend - the affair partner - comments about living in Florida, moving from another state, making friends... and it was then I realized what a dupe I was... and it gave me the strength and the courage to let it go and do what I had to do by having him served with divorce papers. Was it wrong for me to google him? I don't know, personally I don't think so - I'm sure there would be people weighing in on both sides of the debate - and if anyone reading this feels so moved, please feel free to leave a comment. When I spoke to him about it I was calm, finally, for the first time in a very long time, and he had asked how I knew and I told him... the Internet is a wealth of information - he felt busted... I felt relieved.
I have a friend, she's had problems with her husband, for years really... and she's found things about him... dating sites with actual correspondence between him and other women - plans they were making to meet and hook up... and when she asked him about it he was appalled... how dare she look... check up on him. And she laughed... and she said to me, "Belle, he really believed it and tried to turn it around on me, tried to tell me that now HE couldn't trust ME." Yeah, funny huh?
Two words people - Pola roid
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