Countdown

Two more quite nights. I still have a few presents to wrap... nothing too major, easy to do. I'll get it done tomorrow night or Wednesday. Hopefully I'll only have half a day to work on Wednesday, which I can handle really well. I'm looking forward to the day I have lots of annual leave saved up and can take the Christmas week off. But all in all I can't complain about any of the time I have now. It's not like teaching school but it's fine - better actually because I like where I am and what I do as opposed to the situation in which I was working previously. Anyway - I guess my point was I'm ready - bring it on!

The kids and I had dinner tonight sitting at the table, just the three of us. I made spaghetti and we ate it on my Christmas china and Joshua and I had some wine with our dinner. The three of us sat at the dinner table for almost two hours - laughing, talking, remembering. So many parents stress over their children growing up, becoming adults - but I gotta tell ya, I'm liking it. Yeah I miss when they were little, I miss snuggling on the couch or reading them stories. I miss that baby smell and the nurturing and cuddles. It's a fact of life that children grow and a long time ago I adopted the viewpoint it was gonna happen whether I wanted it to or not, so I've embraced the opportunity, the privilege, to see them becoming more autonomous, see them figuring it out, see them pulling away.

Yes, I miss the days of Santa and wonderment - there is a magical feeling gained from experiencing the beauty of Christmas and, by extension, life through the eyes of a child. It humbles us and teaches us more than we could ever learn in a text book or lecture. I think having a child connects all the dots - we see the past and the present and the future in our children. We realize we are, indeed, part of something so much bigger than oursleves. The great thing though is it doesn't end when they become teenagers. It's different for sure but it's just as awesome - and gee, when they get it - really get it - it's just as awe inspiring as when they were little. To watch them go from that me centered mentality to that whole "wow, I'm not the middle of the universe" mentality is funny and heart-filling all at the same time. When they look at you and say thanks, and mean it and get why they're saying it - well... it's another mental snap shot to add to the photograph book in my mind. More moments to ponder in my heart...

Sitting at dinner with them tonight was a gift they don't realize they gave, a gift they don't realize they got. I do know though they will one day look back on moments like tonight's dinner, like many moments we've shared over the years, and they will remember - they will remember they were loved and treasured and valued. They will pass that gift on to their children, who will pass it down to their children's children...