Merry Christmas

I hope all is well in whatever part of the world someone might be reading this in... the day went well here - lots of gifts, the kids all very happy with their treasures, both great and small. As I sit now Rebecca is in the chair next to me on her laptop and we've both been playing with our iPods - her old one and my shiny new one. It was my gift from the kids because they decided I needed one. Very sweet. It's emerald green and very cool. Now that I can put music on it I can't think of what songs I like... silly I know... but that's me.

The time spent at the inlaws was nice. Ex drank a lot of wine and asked a few small talk questions that I answered and other than that I spent more time talking to my father in law. As we left father in law thanked me for the gifts and said the best gift of all was having me there. It was a nice thing to say. Ex left at some point during the visit - I guess he had told Rebecca goodbye - I was unaware of his departure. Rebecca told me during the drive home that when they visit that's pretty much how it goes - he sits in the living room while they all visit in the dining room or he comes in and out of the house while they are there. He doesn't interact anymore when I'm not there than he did when I was there. It's sad really and I feel bad for him - I truly do - he misses out on all the great things that I get to see and participate in with the kids.

This is the first year I don't feel overwhelming sadness for what I lost. I feel, instead, a deep abiding gratitude for my children, my job, my hard work both personally and professionally, and this sense of peace I've been able to carve out for myself. I still have moments - I won't lie - but overall I'm very grateful to be as blessed as I am. Thank you Lord - for bringing me out of the darkness and restoring some light to my life. Thank you Lord - for giving me the blessing of two beautiful lives to enrich my soul and fill my heart. Thank you Lord - for the opportunity to do something meaningful and worthwhile in this life. Thank you Lord - for giving me friends and colleagues who teach me something everyday, who give me laughter and support, kindness and love. Thank you Lord - for all this and more - and I pray for continued happiness and peace for all those I love. Amen.