I tried to post something at the end of the May but it wouldn't let me - a bummer really since it was my yearly remembrance of Joshua's birthday. It was number 24... so many years have flown by - it's scary, but really pretty awesome. He's a special guy and I love him more than life.
Nothing much has changed down this way, just in case if anyone were to wonder. School has ended for the year - Rebecca is now a junior in high school. How flippin' wild is that? I've not really paid much attention to the "countdown" where she's been concerned. I remember doing it with Joshua - you know how that goes, right? There are x number of fill in the blanks left until he graduates. I made sure to take extra snapshots, both in my mind and with the camera, and I reminded myself all the time to just enjoy the moment. But truthfully, when it enters my mind now, I'm not really too sure how I feel about it. She's my last, my baby girl, and it will be harder I guess. It is no less exciting though... she's a wonderful person and she has a happiness about her that is infectious. I can't wait to see how she tackles the world!
Nothing much has changed down this way, just in case if anyone were to wonder. School has ended for the year - Rebecca is now a junior in high school. How flippin' wild is that? I've not really paid much attention to the "countdown" where she's been concerned. I remember doing it with Joshua - you know how that goes, right? There are x number of fill in the blanks
The braces have come off. She took the SAT for the first time yesterday morning. It was funky watching her walk into the testing school and see her among all the other teenagers preparing for their futures. Friday we leave for a two day dance workshop, something new for her, where she will get an opportunity to take classes from people who are involved with Carolina, where she wants to go to college to study, what else? Dance. I also need to get her started on driver's ed so she can get her license before the start of school in August.
I'm still fighting the good fight at work. I've been there officially now for two years and I truly love the job, even with all the dysfunction and caseload. We are overrun with cases - more now that at any point in the last two years. I'm still hanging out with friends when I get the opportunity. Rebecca and I have taken in a couple of Carolina baseball games and had a blast. Wedding plans are plugging along and I'm waiting to hear how much the rehearsal dinner will set me back. My dress has been ordered and my shoes are here! I love the shoes! They are brown satin and strappy and have a rhinestone broach accent on the left side of each shoe. They make me happy!
I'm still seeing the therapist once a month. I probably will until the wedding. I had thought I probably would until I got settled in a relationship but that may never happen and I don't think it's prudent to keep attending therapy year after year after year in the hopes of having her guide me through something that really may remain unfulfilled. I went to an al-anon meeting a few weeks again and will most likely go to one this week. It was really helpful, listening to the stories and hearing how similar everyone's experience is. I still have a tad of resentment in me that I even have to do this, to get the skills and information needed to help the kids and help myself, but it is what it is I suppose. Life goes on...
And there you have it - an update. I have clothes to fold and Hope Floats is on.. a pretty nice Sunday if I do say so...
3 comments:
Hi Belle,
Haven't been on my blog in ages, saw yours and thought I would say HI.
Congrats on your sons Engagement! Really Neat. They are both Growing Up, huh?
I recently went back to therapy, then had to quit due to insurance change to Kaiser. Will look for one thru them though. Reason I mention this...if you like her, she helps and is easy to talk to...you may not have the same 'goal' to work with her about...but there is always Growth in other ways...in other areas...which you may not be delving into by only working on relationships. Just a thought.
I was looking into core training. Kind of like who I am and where I want to go from here.
Am starting a new chapter of my life.
Looking for a new job. Got Married in April. Looking more inward rather than outward for satisfaction, love of self, etc.
Lots of stuff happens when you turn 50, will be 51 next week. Still feel 35.
You have a great deal to smile about...enjoy
Thanks for the reply - congrats on your marriage! I get what you're saying about working on other things - I guess that's sorta the point though cause that's what I've been doing. The last frontier is a relationship and that's probably what scares me the most. I think I wanted to hold on to therapy until that happened so I'd have someone to walk me through it. Oh well, what will be will be...
I wanted someone 'objective and who had training' to talk to. Friends are nice...but...all have a bias as to where I should be...etc. I like having an outsider who has no 'stake' in what I do emotionally.
It was also good to have a personal guidance counselor if you will...someone to throw ideas out to, work, and deep internal stuff I couldn't approach anyone else with, no training in it. Like how do you deal with deep fear..etc. Or medical issues and emotions. Friends just can't handle that.
I do better at that with people cuz I can turn off, been trained, and really just don't have that much attachment anymore to people.
I figured out if I had spent as much time on me and the things I am interested in, and focused on them, than on relationships I would be way farther ahead than I am. Learn a little later than some...ah well. such is life.
Kind of like college...when I graduated I was 35, figured my degree would be around no matter who I was with..it still is.
Anyway, it is late, busy day tomorrow...off to the showers then to bed. Mark already crashed...he works tomorrow.
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