Therapy

I mentioned earlier this month I was going back to therapy - and I did, last week - had my first session with her - well not the first because after all I've been there before... but the first session of the latest attempt... yeah, there ya go... that's how to describe it. Well, when I sat down on the couch and she asked me what was up I told her I had to find a way to stop living in my head - I have to finally get to a place where I'm not doing that anymore - where I can function in the here and now without the overwhelming urge to run to the dark recesses of my mind when I get sad, or uncomfortable, or lonely, or stressed, or...

She said she got it, she understood - she's been with me for a long time - from the beginning - and it's nice to have someone who gets the whole dynamic. She told me I knew what to do - she said I just don't believe it - yet... so I go back on Thursday...

Use Somebody

But I've been thinking - is it really so bad for me to be living in my head? It's gotten me by so far.. allbeit less than fulfilling... but still - managable. I've learned some things too, while living up there... I'm very sure about what I want and don't want, which really comes from a combination of several things, one of which is all that time spent in my head - but it also comes from a tad bit of experience too: an unsatisfying marriage, an ill fated after separation romance, a good looking single dad who ended up being a great guy but someone I'm not the least bit attracted to - and the funny thing about him is that he's sorta in the same place I am post divorce. He's had a few relationships since his separation and divorce, two actually, and he'll tell you he entered into them for the wrong reasons... and after a while it dawned on him that neither was really what he wanted... and he knows what he wants now and he's not in any hurry to make it happen - he's quite content to wait and let it happen... and that's impressed me... and made me feel like not such a dorky romantic floundering around in the land of make believe because I sorta feel the same way (well, minus the not in a hurry part).

So Thursday I'll go back... and we'll talk some more and I think, at the suggestion of a friend, I'll take a few things I've written. I'll let ya know...