I want to work and work and work until I'm exhausted. I want to work and run and work and run until I have no energy to do anything other than fall into bed. It's the only way I think... it's going to be the only way.
I went into Belk today and looked for clothes. I have a few nice things to wear to work - after all I had to dress nicely at school, but I don't have a lot of "court attire" and with the new job (should the freeze un-thaw and I get hired) I will need to go to court a few times a month. I have a great black skirt to wear - the one I wore on divorce day. Today I found a brown one. I also got a few sweaters and tops... mix and match pieces. Even if something happens and I don't get the job I can still use the clothes. I also need a pair of brown court shoes. I'll look for those in the near future. I love shoes - I guess that's the one typically female stereotypical behavior I have. I like classy shoes - ones that make a clip clip sound on the floor as you walk. I love the way my feet and ankles look in a nice heel... ya', I definitely like shoes.
Tomorrow night daughter and I have decided to have a game and snack night - she asked if we could throw in a movie too and I said why not. We'll go to the grocery store tomorrow and pick out our array of snacks... maybe some chips and dip... I thought maybe some fruit with dip too... I have a great French cream recipe that's very tasty. We'll look around and see what else we can find. It'll be nice. Saturday is football... I need to check on the time of the game... it's supposed to be cooler on Saturday - maybe I'll make us some soup... potato might be nice.
I bought some lotion today at the Wally World (my affectionate nickname for Wal-Mart). I'm picky about my lotion... it needs to be really thick. I need some more of my Amber Romance but I'm not planning a trip to the mall anytime soon. I picked up this lotion today and liked it... the smell is a lot like the Bath and Body Works version of Moonlight Path and it reminded me of something - something kinda bittersweet. I bought it anyway... I have to reclaim some things. I can't continue to avoid so much just because it brings back a memory. I miss being told I smell good. I don't know if it means anything to other women to hear that but it means something to me... smell, like touch, can be such a sensual thing. I miss the way a man can smell, all clean and musky - very er... manly... I miss that so much. I miss how big a man's hand can be in comparison to mine. I miss so many things....
Oh well... life's fully of subtle little ironies huh?
Anyway, here's another South Carolina boy... I'll Be.
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