Right of Passage

Ok... Gotta set the mood … Skyway Avenue

Now this may ramble so hang with me...

I've been blessed in many ways, especially where my children are concerned. They are great kids - they really are... smart and funny... kind, friendly and considerate. I really couldn't ask for more where they are concerned. They've been able to find niches for themselves - things they are good at they enjoy doing. For son it was football, for daughter it's been dance and I am more and more everyday a more firm believer every child should have some type of activity they love. It shouldn't be a forced thing, you kinda gotta follow the kid's lead on that... if he or she expresses an interest in something then ya check it out... let the kid see if she likes it and if she does then you once again follow the lead and make it possible. But there comes a lesson in it all too... if a child wants to try, say baseball, then the child commits to that season of baseball... no dropping out in the middle - no missing practices or games, no half assed slack approach - and that means the parent(s) too... if at the end of the season baseball doesn't ring his bell then by all means, don't force more baseball - move on to the next activity and see if that does. But realize and understand every moment, every activity, every encounter is an opportunity to teach something - responsibility, work ethic, pride, commitment, self confidence, joy, friendship, grace, humbleness, kindness, determination, self discipline - life skills - ya know?

Daughter, who will soon be referred to in this blog as Ms. B, has a rigorous dance schedule - seems every year she adds more classes but every year she becomes more focused and committed to dance. It's all been her and last spring was a real turning point. Every spring prior to this one she would decide she wanted to cut back on dance - or stop dancing all together - and she'd say that for a few weeks before she'd come back and say she wanted to keep dancing after all. Last spring when I asked her about taking dance this fall she looked at me like I had two heads and stated of course she wanted to take dance, asked me if was I crazy and that was that. Discussion over.

Next interlude – Almost

So dance started full time this week (after three weeks of nothing but company practice) - and since dance is a 35 mile round trip and gas prices are so high I take a book and read or visit with the other mothers or the ladies who work there... this is B's sixth year at the studio so we've formed friendships, B and I - a real God send the last few years, these friends. Anyway Wednesday was a busy day, and being the first week back for dance the studio was chaotic - little girls everywhere, moms everywhere, a few dads thrown in for good measure (dads really do that huh - wow). It was wild and busy and fun. Being a veteran at this I took a seat, opened my book and started reading. Soon another mother came in, sat down - another mother asked her a question, she didn't know the answer so they both looked at me... no, I said - I don't think her class is in studio A, the bigger girls are in there now... her class might be in studio B - that one over there, oh no problem, glad to help, etc... and the first mother asked me, is Ms. B in the older class? Yes, yes she is. Oh, good, is Ms. B going to assist in any classes this year. Yes, she's assisting between her classes on Thursday. Oh, darn... she won't be assisting in K's class this year then will she? No, I guess not. Oh K will be so disappointed, you see we just love Ms. B. Oh? (laughing). Oh yes... when we bought dance clothes K said she had to have clothes like Ms. B wore... and we have to wear our hair like Ms. B does and when we watch the recital DVD she only wants to watch her own dances and Ms. B's dances... she wants to dance like Ms. B. - she loves her Ms. B. She continued to tell me what a great girl B is, how patient and kind she is with the little girls, what a good dancer she is and how when she dances you can see her love and dedication to dance. I wanted to cry - it was so sweet, someone giving such lovely praise to my daughter.

Third interlude – Vulnerable

Driving home that night I told B all about the conversation. She remembered little K and said sweet things about her... talking about how much fun assisting the little girls can be... and I pointed out to her (as I have in the past) that the younger girls look up to her... they watch what she does, they want to emulate her - and she needs to be aware and behave accordingly - she laughed it off, but I think she understands. She's growing so quickly... experiencing so much... changing, exploring her independence... it's fascinating to watch - really quite a beautiful thing - the butterfly emerging from its chrysalis... which leads me to this - the whole point of this blog entry...

One of the dance moms and her daughter invited B and me to a concert last night... all the songs playing in this little blog entry are from the bands we saw. The main draw though was this guy – Just So You Know. I watched my daughter scream and dance and sing, oblivious to the fact I was there, and it was just... wonderful. She was so happy, acting like the new teen she is... it was a privilege watching her first crush develop, seeing her smile... gosh what fun! I hope, as she continues to grow, she can keep some of the wonderment and magic she felt last night. For me it was one more little moment to hold in my heart, one more little mental snapshot to add to the scrapbook in my mind. Parents worry about their kids - it's what we do... and I've especially worried the last few years with the divorce and the absence of her dad... worried she'll miss something, some important skill or relationship or developmental milestone... but for now... right this moment... she seems to be good - happy and content, and I'll take that. Gee, sometimes life can be really good, ya know?